14 weeks and 1 day

Nothing there yet.....
There is a heart beat, 160 bpm today, so thats good.
And I will be happy if the bump remains hidden for another few months, hell until the end would be perfect.

I'm in a rush to work. Waitressing still a few times a week. I need to grow up. I went to the midwife today and they asked me if I did the blood work I was supposed to have done on January first... shit. I totally forgot. There was only a two week window to get it done and I missed the boat. I need to grow up. Luckily, because I did the private ultrasound this will make up for the blood work. But still, I need to get my shit together.

Today at the birth centre I also asked the questions that most parents would ask on the first visit. I can't believe I just referred to us as parents, but I can't think of what else to call us, patients sounds odd. Since we have been struggling with the decision of whether we can possibly function as parents rather than worrying about specifics of childbirth, I have yet to question the careproviders. I am shocked actually, because some stats say that as many as 50% of pregnancies are unplanned, so how can these people be ready to pick a care provider and screen them adequately when they are wrapping their head around the idea of a baby, plus puking by the minute and mood swings. It blows my mind. Now that we are at 14 weeks and damn sure we are going through this ring of fire, now I am ready to ask questions.

These were just a few of my 'important' questions. "Will a midwife or physician come to my house when I am in labour and do their best to prevent me from going to the hospital until absolutely necessary?" Response: "Yes, if thats what you want." Next question: "Will you do your best to not slice me from vag to rectum aka give me an epiosiotomy", response: "most definitely". Next: "Can I refuse the vitamin K injection and the erythromycin and suctioning of my babe?" response: "yes, but suctioning is done if there is meconium in the amniotic sac and if the babe is chocking on mucous". Those were the most important questions I asked, and I was completely satisfied with the responses. I can't help but feel more trusting towards this clinic because the care is provided by a team of midwives and doctors and they also provide free prenatal classes and a doula. It seems to me that they have the parent to be's needs in mind.

I do need to grow up and I am sure that the care providers think the same thing when we rush in late for our appointments or call the clinic because we have lost our requisitions or simply miss blood work altogether. Yes, those are moments we need to get it together. But I do think they are surprised when we have our little moments when we show them we do know a bit of what we are talking about and can fire off words like episiotomy, erythromycin and meconium. We still have six and a half months to learn how to take care of ourselves and quickly transfer these skills to providing for another being. Six and a half months and counting.